If you have read my previous posts you will know that John is my father. Before he became Vicar John he was also known as Karate John. To me that is, I'm not entirely sure anyone else calls him that.
Anyway when I was younger, much younger around the age of 5 my dad did karate. He would go once a week I think, I can't really remember, only that he would go out most evenings to do Karate. He got belts but not a black belt, I think he got a blue? I'm not too sure as I said, and I have no idea how the belt system work.
Moving on, John eventually gave up karate to do other hobbies such as unicycle and darts. Not at the same time though obviously. Years past and I was about 14/15 when my dad went to the pub for a piss up. The next morning his back was bruised and he was in pain. When I asked him about it this is what I got:
"I was in the bar with the regulars and we got on to talking about fighting and I told them about the time I did karate."
Before I continue my dad has bad knees and has to have steroids in them occasionally.
"So I told them about learning about karate and I said that if your going to defend yourself you should do it properly. I looked around the room and that's when I saw old Mo."
I don't think the fellas name was Mo, but that's what I shall call him. All you need to know is that Mo is very old and looks fragile and the type of man who hasn't fought anyone nor does he look like the kind of man who can defend himself.
"I walked over to Mo and said hey pal do you mind just standing up for a minute. He stood and we were opposite one another, about a foot apart. I stood sideways ready to demonstrate how you defend and take someone down. I said right Mo don't worry pal I'm not going to hurt you, just demonstrate. Just as I was about to demonstrate I blacked out. I woke up on the floor on my back, when I asked one of the fellas what happened they said that Mo had grabbed me and flipped me, knocking me out. It turns out that Mo was a black belt in mixed martial arts back in the day."
Not only did my dad get completely humiliated by an old man who looks like he can't harm a fly, but he was shown up by everyone, making out that he was this brilliant karate kid. The lesson, don't ever underestimate anyone, especially the quiet ones. My dad as far as I'm aware hasn't attempted to show people how to defend themselves in pubs since. This story however, still makes me laugh today and shall be told for as long as he shall live.
After all it was just another day in the life as the Yorkshire Bookworm,
Till next time,